I Feel Like Bacon Love!

Though it’s been quite some time since I’ve blogged, I thought: “why not come back with a bang?” Or better yet: “why not come back with an explosion, a Bacon Explosion that is!” Before I go any further, I must give all the credit in the world to those pork-geniuses at BBQAddicts.com, inventors of one of the greatest, fattest, saltiest pieces of heaven we will ever know.

My experience with the Bacon Explosion came to me this past year when a few friends and I decided to tailgate before a Philly Wings Lacrosse game. I had received a pre-made vacuum-sealed frozen explosion as a gift from a friend a few months earlier and I felt guilty that this piece of bacon-goodness was sitting in the freezer, not being appreciated for what it truly is. After baking according to the manufacturer’s instructions, we were all blown away.

Now this past weekend, I decided to venture out on my own and make one from scratch. First, I started by weaving the recommended thick-cut bacon into a 5 slice by 5 slice piece. Now if only that Longenberger basket  company weaved all their baskets from cured pork products, I’d become a huge fan! But alas, it’s just a fatty pipe-dream and those baskets still suck!

I then proceeded to cover the weave with 2 lbs of pork sausage and one fully-cooked package of bacon.

After seasoning with my homemade BBQ seasoning mix (cumin, garlic, paprika, chili powder, etc), I rolled it all up like a fatty (yes, pun intended) and seasoned it some more.

After cooking for about 2 ½ hours at a low 235 degrees, I pulled it from the oven. Now I could have finished here, but it was meant to be eaten later in the weekend. So, I wrapped it and threw it into the fridge. I could swear at night I could hear it calling my name from inside the fridge, but I think maybe it was the beer I was drinking.

On the day it was to be eaten, I pulled it from the fridge, reheated it for 45 minutes in the oven and coated it with some BBQ sauce for the last 10 minutes. I used Sweet Baby Rays sauce, which has become my favorite commercial BBQ sauce.

Now here’s where the similarity between my first bacon explosion and this one ends. I then sliced it thinly and put it onto fresh Kaiser rolls with Dijon mustard, romaine lettuce and some sliced pickled hot peppers I had canned last summer.

My opinion? I now know why some religions are against eating pork: I felt guilty eating something so forbiddingly good. Regardless, the sandwich was a slice of heaven on a roll. With each bite you thank the good Lord for creating pigs and for the taste buds that allow you savor all that flavor! You find good reason to thank Him for creating fellow humans that come up with the ideas of smoking meat, creating BBQ sauce and creating fatty monstrosities like the Bacon Explosion. Finally you pray that your arteries don’t become too clogged from eating this thing. The sweet & hot combo of the peppers balanced the smoky & salty flavor of the pork perfectly. The subtle crunch of the bacon with the moisture of the pork sausage complemented each other well. They say the only way to a man’s heart is through his stomach. And bacon definitely is the EZPass of that trip!

Tsk, Tsk, Tsk: Bisque, Bisque, Bisque

I really starting to think my "specialty food" has become soup. Not only is it easy because its one of those foods you can let cook all day, but it gets better when you let it sit overnight. Patience is the key to a good soup. And lately, I've become more bold with my selections in recipes. Recently, I undertook to task of attempting to duplicate the tomato bisque soup I recall having when I was younger. At a restaurant called Wild Wings located in the Reading Airport was where I had tried it (yes, I know: one doesn't normally think "airport" when you're coming up with dinner options at home). Aside from their tremendous hot wings, they had the most amazing tomato bisque soup I've ever tasted. Unfortunately, they literally closed up shop in the middle of the night and the owner left town (I wonder if it was by plane?) and the tomatoe bisque that accompanied my flavorful wings was no more.

So recently for a company pot-luck lunch, I decided to give it a whirl and attempt making something close to what I had remembered. After looking over several recipes, I had yet to find one that had the creamy bisque texture while still encorporating the chucks of tomato. So, as always, I did my own modifications to the recipes I found. After sauteeing the veggies and adding flour, I added the stock. To tell you the truth I was tempted to use my deer stock I had made a few days later but felt a bit selfish in not wanting to use that on food that would be part of a potluck. Plus I didn't want to hear the "aww, you killed Bambi just to put him into your stupid soup: you should be ashamed!"(though regardless of what you think: Bambi = tasty.) Now if only someone could find some roasted dwarf, deep-fried oversized elephant ears and tick-tock crocodile tail we'd be in for one helluva Disney meal!

After adding the canned tomatoes that I purchased (here's where I regret not using the tomatoes we canned this summer, however this was pure a pure combination of laziness and forgetfulness on my behalf) and the fat-free half and half, I let it slowly cook. On a side note, I gotta say that the fat-free half and half is a great option when you're attempting to watch your fat intake and yet still retain a great taste and consistency.

Now at this point in the cooking process, all the recipes called for blending/pureeing the soup and ending there. Fine, the flavor would be there, but where are my chunks? (no, they're not off doing the truffle shuffle).

After blending it all, I returned it to the heat and added some canned chopped tomatoes. After cooking it another 20 mintues, it was ready to serve with croutons, fresh mozzarella with a garnish of fresh basil.

It wasn't the exact same as the soup I'd had in the past, but it was damn close.

Being Cheap and Shellfish

When I see sales on fish and shellfish, I tend to adhere to the mentality: “Buy it! Buy it now! It’ll make a fancy meal!” I don’t know why I’d assume any type of fish is “fancy” per se (see: fried catfish or anything from the Gorton’s Fisherman… and I don't care what you say, I don’t trust him!) but I know anytime I’ve had fish while eating in a restaurant, I’ve just considered it fancier than a cheeseburger or a basic pasta dish.

So I purchased some Sea Scallops from my favorite fish market (insert “your mom” jokes here) for about $6.75 a pound. Since I’m used to paying $10-$15 per pound at Wegmans, I thought I’d buy some and make a “fancy” dinner.

I had decided to make my typical Pan-Seared Scallops Over Fresh Spinach. Usually when scallops are pan-seared they end up tasting like pieces of caramelized goodness. These particular lil suckers for some reason reduced in size in the pan and wouldn’t get a consistent sear on them. I can only assume they may have been “wet” scallops instead of the typical “dry” scallops (see Alton Brown’s detailed explanation on the “Shell Game IV” episode of Good Eats on the difference between the 2: basically “wet” refers to additive to extend shelf life)

Though the scallops shrunk and didn’t sear properly and the spinach was full-leaf instead of baby spinach, it still came out tasty, but not overly scrupmtious. Adding a touch of olive oil, sea salt, pepper, fresh parmesan and balsamic vinegar to the spinach prior to topping it with the scallops added extra flavor. Hows that for fancy?

Accompanying the entrée was roasted garlic risotto. I’ve gotten pretty good at making this side dish but a recent recipe I saw called for adding cream. Though its creamy enough on its own (again, insert “your mom” jokes here), I added a little half and half at the end and took out the white wine I normally add to the stock. So far, it was the best one yet.

So the only things I’d change in the future is: go back to using baby spinach as it has a less harsh flavor and make sure to buy the specifically-marked “dry” sea scallops. Or maybe I’ll just stop being so cheap and buy my scallops from Wegmans from now on. OR maybe I'll stop considering fish to be "fancy".

Taking a Leek

Of all the meals I tend to cook, if I had to pick a specialty, it’d be soup. It’s easy to make and there’s endless combinations of ingredients (note to self: try making cream of scrapple soup with fried onions). OK, maybe not endless…

Anyways, I recently saw a recipe for a Cream of Broccoli, Potato and Leek Soup in one of the several cooking magazines I subscribe to. For some reason, just “Leek Soup” doesn’t sound right but would be awfully easy to make for anyone who just drank a gallon of water. It wasn’t until recently that I’ve utilized this onion-like plant in my cooking and so far both times have been soups. Of any vegetable you should wash before using, it’s definitely the leek. As it’s grown in a sandy environment, that crunchy “goodness” tends to find its way between the layers of the plant. So unless you like rolling your Good Humor Ice cream cone in the sand while you’re at the beach, do yourself a favor and rinse the leek thoroughly.

The recipe called for sautéing the 3 veggies in butter, then adding stock and water after 10 minutes. Then, the recipe suggests you throw the soup in a blender or food processor in batches until pureed. For some reason, I must have over-filled my processor because it started doing its best Linda Blair impression and started spewing the green fluid out of its top the moment I turned it on (the machine, not Linda Blair).

After returning it to the pot and adding some half and half it wasn’t much longer until I was done.

It wasn’t too bad, though it wasn’t as thick as I had hoped. Perhaps next time I’ll add more potatoes and half and half to thicken it up. Though the original recipe for the garnish/topping called for pan-fried pancetta with sage, rosemary and bread crumbs, I instead substituted bacon. Not because I love smoked pork bellies, but because Weis Markets doesn’t necessarily have the same Über-selection as Wegmans. And everyone knows that food selections with an umlaut are much better than those without...

A Sneeze from the Sea-Hag

So I’m all for trying new foods. And I’m all for trying to cook foods I’ve never cooked before. What happens when you combine the two? Either potential for culinary greatness or utter, disappointing disaster. Such is the case with my recent Pan Seared Pork Loin with Apple-Balsamic Reduction Sauce and Sautéed Kale. Can you guess which one I never ate/cooked before?

Since I was stuck with several bunches of kale that were leftover from an event (we had planned to use the kale for garnish along some salads and side we had prepared for a birthday party but somehow were forgotten at home), I decided I’d be better off cooking them rather than letting them go to waste. I had heard of recipes using kale and when I did some online searching, it kind of had the appearance of spinach. Heck, I’ve loved spinach since I was a kid. I remember my dad telling me that spinach was made from the snot of the Sea-Hag from the Popeye cartoons. So, either I learned to ignore his suggestion or I had some weird tendency to enjoy the mucous of fictional cartoon characters, but regardless I learned to love spinach.

So it can’t be all that different, can it?

As for the Apple-balsamic reduction sauce, I had a better idea what to expect. I like apples and I like balsamic vinegar. I also like hummus and I like hot wings but that doesn’t mean they’d taste great together (or would they? I think I’ll make an experimental batch up the next time I’m watching Turkey play Syria in Goat Soccer). Making the sauce was easier than I expected: I just sautéed onions and apples in olive oil and butter, then added apple cider vinegar and balsamic vinegar. After running the reduced mixture through a sieve, I returned it to the pan to reduce some more.

And the results? The Apple-Balsamic Reduction Sauce was……..awesome! The sautéed kale was……..awful! Granted, it was my first time coking the dish and I’m sure I could have improved upon it had I made it before, but it had a sour flavor to it (and it wasn’t the “good sour” from the splash of lemon juice I added while I was cooking it) and I felt like a farm animal as I chewed….and chewed….and chewed. Perhaps that explained my tendency to use the floor as a bathroom and make animal noises. Or, perhaps that’s just a typical Tuesday night for me.

They say that kale is very good for you. So is tree bark, but I’m not going to go bite into the next shrub I see…

Its a bit nutty!

Over the past weekend I had the chance to visit my favorite Amish food stand to pick up a few things (for some reason they were out of whiskey and condoms). While I was getting ready to check out, a large box of Acorn Squash had caught my eye. I had heard of using it in different recipes but never considered making any myself. So, for 2 for $1.00 I decided to try 'em out.

After roasting them in the oven, I then sauteed the typical soup base of onions, garlic, parsley and celery in some butter. Adding some of the family of "c" spices (cumin, curry and cayenne), then some broth and evaporated milk, I began to work on more and more of the base for my soup. Now I've learned in the past not to add too much curry, otherwise it gets pretty potent. I love curry, however Val doesn't. So lets just say should our jobs be outsourced to India, guess who won't have a problem with the cuisine?

After mashing the squash and adding it to the base I added it to the food processor for a few spins and voila: baby puke! OK, maybe not, but it certainly didn't have the consistency of any non-bodily fluids. Then again, what soup does? The taste was pretty unique. Other than the hint of curry and other spices, it had a bit of a nutty flavor...

Wait, wait, no! I really meant it actually had a nutty flavor. Didn't taste like scientifically-modified-man-of-mystery-poop at all! Anyways, with some almonds to garnish and some olive oil drizzled on top, here's the end result:

So would I make it again? Yup! Would I skip the stupid movie references next time? Nope!

Admiral Ackbar would be proud

There's nothing quite like the sheer delight of good tasting food cooked to perfection. As this should be the expectation each and every time you find yourself out to dinner, nothing says "let's take a roll of the dice" quite like calamari.

To some, the thought of eating a squid conjures up images of chewing on a ball of squishy and fishy mucous. Actually its quite the opposite. When cooked properly, it can be one of the tastiest foods out there. With a little squeeze of fresh lemon and a dip in some homemade marinara, fried calamari is perhaps the #1 appetizer on my list. And if you're lucky enough to find a Japanese restuarant that serves calamari on the egg-spinning, shrimp-flipping, lil-volcano-turned-into-choo-choo-from-a-stack-of-fresh-onions circus stage that is the Hibachi bar, don't pass up the opportunity (wait, did I just write choo-choo? How old am I?)

But when its over cooked? Lets just say I'm not a fan of eating fried rubber bands. Office supplies do NOT make the tastiest treats (besides, my Liquid Paper casserole always comes out so bland!).

Perhaps the best calamari I ever had was at a friend's engagement party in Jersey. Since the whole state smells like seafood and grease anyways, I gave it a try and was not disappointed in the least. Of course this was made by an Italian family so I knew I was in for a treat before I even tried it. The sad result is now when I order fried calamari in an Italian restaurant, I gotta call it "Da Calamaaaaaad!" Then I continue to speak some of the complex Italian phrases I learned from Peter Griffin: "a boppity boopy!" (it means, 'thank you fine sir, are you a fan of The Godfather?')

So, I got a chance to try out a new restaurant this evening where I had noted the fried calamari on the appetizer list. It's now come to my attention where if I'm trying a new restaurant, I'm going to test them on the most difficult of foods. Tonight's calamari at Prime Steak House in Bethlehem? They passed with flying colors. Perhaps next time instead of prime rib for my main course (also mouth-watering), I'll just get 2 orders of the calamari. That is, if they stay consistent...